Blissful relationship involves soooooo many components that most people never, EVER, even begin to wonder about or explore… let alone act on, develop or master.
One of those components is maintaining authenticity between partners — particularly in communication about sex.
And I know. It’s challenging enough to be true to oneself in life. Let alone being completely authentic within the fluid nature of relationship with a second person!
Did you know that a key reason for men seeking divorce from marriage is their dissatisfaction with their partners sexual responsiveness?
If we read into that a little we can assume that’s because the women her self is sexually dissatisfied with the man!
Where are we going wrong?
You wouldn’t marry someone in the first place who was so incompatible in bed, would you?
And yes, body’s change through time, men’s testosterone levels go down, body parts begin to droop, yet communication is the key to sexual unity and romantic bliss.
If the chemistry is right at the beginning of a relationship, sex only becomes bad or boring because of inauthentic communication between the partners.
What we know is that men are ashamed or scared of communicating what they want, or don’t want, in various areas of relationship. Eventually it becomes emotionally easier to break the relationship than to unravel all of the resentment and dissatisfaction that has built over time.
Where do we start?
What clear priorities exist for creating romantic bliss in sustainable relationship? What can give us a symbolic ideal vision of authentic fulfillment for both partners?
One thing perhaps that we can all agree on is the desire for rapturous sex.
The type of mind-bending sexual satisfaction that many people relate to having experienced at times in the past.
Having that experience available again and again symbolizes the height of sustained authentic harmony between partners.
Of course, I don’t mean your average garden variety sex.
Nor do I mean the kind of exciting sex that’s available in weird and wonderful ways through modern dating hook-up sex, kinky sex, BDSM, or swinger sex.
I mean Spiritual Sex.
What is Spiritual Sex?
Before I get into this, please consider again that most people never, EVER, even begin to wonder about or explore… let alone act on, develop or master… the components of authentic relationship.
So what I’m about to describe may strike you as completely unfamiliar, off the wall, kooky, too demanding or even scary.
If you want to create lasting authentic romantic bliss in your life, these insights are absolutely vital because to understand harmony between two people, we must consider our own individual essence, nature and needs.
And that all begins at the root of human experience. Namely, consciousness, the meaning of life and our drive towards pleasure.
If you just want some matter-of-fact tips and techniques on improving your sex life, check out our other articles, take our premium 5-month curriculum, or visit other popular blogs on the web.
This article is a deep-dive into questions of our spiritual connection with existence itself and how that influences the reality of creating authentic romantic bliss.
First, sex isn’t just intercourse. It’s affection. It’s hugs. It’s kissing. It’s carrying out the garbage or any other chore to alleviate stress that interferes with the positive flow of energy for either partner. It’s being there for each other and building that ongoing exciting, satisfying, nurturing, erotically charged tension of enjoying each other in every possible way.
Spiritual Sex means a union of forces, or energies, that permeate the universe. Some call it Yin and Yang. Some call it Kundalini Energy. Some call it Prana or Chi. Some refer to it as Tantra. Wilhelm Reich called it Orgone Energy.
That energy is what we gather through our mind-body-spirit and convert into our life experience, physically and emotionally.
Now For A Little History of Sex and Spirituality
Modern religion and pop culture have buried these spiritual pursuits of physically and emotionally pleasurable fulfillment in a sea of superficial dogma and distraction.
Yet the ideas of Tantra, or ‘sex energy cultivation for spiritual ascension’, permeates spiritual traditions throughout history.
“All of the ancient spiritual traditions have a Tantric component.” – Weiser Field Guide To Ascension: The Meaning of Miracles and Shifts in Consciousness Past and Present – Cal Garrison
Regardless of your interpretation of what ‘god’ means, the importance of sex in modern religion is revealed in the esoteric (hidden, secret, guarded) sides of Judaism, Christianity and Islam within Kabbalah:
“The Kabbalah teaches that … man can achieve total union with God only through sexual intercourse. This is one of the most zealously guarded secrets of the Kabbalah. Because God is made of two principles, male and female, and because they are forever united in perfect harmony, man must also endeavour to achieve perfect harmony in sex with a woman, one woman. According to Kabbalah a man or a woman who has never joined in sex with a member of the opposite sex can never come in contact with God.” – The Complete Book of Spells, Ceremonies, and Magic, Migene González-Wippler
Before modern religions, the Ancient Egyptians prioritized the cultivation of sex energy in spirituality. They believed in “knowing all sixty-four sexual modes as requisite to entering the King’s Chamber to ascend to the next level of consciousness”.
Sex energy also stimulates our genius as identified by Napoleon Hill who researched 100 of the greatest scientists, businessmen and thinkers of his time.
“The desire for sexual expression is by far the strongest and most impelling of all the human emotions, and for this very reason this desire, when harnessed and transmuted into action, other than that of physical expression, may raise one to the status of a genius.
One of America’s most able business men frankly admitted that his attractive secretary was responsible for most of the plans he created. He admitted that her presence lifted him to heights of creative imagination, such as he could experience under no other stimulus..”
– Napoleon Hill
Women’s sexual potential has been hidden from current society too. It turns out that a woman’s conscious awareness, confidence, ability to focus, sense of freedom and fulfillment are all directly linked to the hormonal connections between the brain and her network of sexual circuitry. A topic that we delve into within the 5-month courtship curriculum.
Indeed, The Arc of Romantic Sexual Chemistry Between Man and Woman is Quite Possibly The Most Powerful Force in The Universe.
As such, romantic bliss via all elements of spiritual sex is the noble and crucial goal for creating maximum fulfillment in life.
How to Create Spiritual Sex with your Partner
In a nut shell, the formula is quite straightforward…
Be honest. Be open. Be adventurous.
Communicate without negative judgement.
Tell each other what you enjoy and don’t enjoy.
Create time and space to indulge and explore.
Nurture each others sense of security and consideration.
Show that you want to create and protect the preciousness of your shared connection.
Accept that you have separate individual perspectives and preferences.
Honor the differences. Support each other to achieve your individual life goals
and pursue your shared and separate interests.
And then practice, practice, practice giving each other maximum pleasure.
Of course, that’s all easier said than done.
So the art of Spiritual Sex is actually the pursuit of a completely fulfilling relationship. And that just might be the very meaning of life.
Again, sex isn’t just intercourse.
It’s affection. It’s hugs. It’s kissing.
It’s alleviating stress that interferes
with positive energy for both of you.
It’s being there for each other
and building an ongoing exciting,
satisfying, nurturing, erotically charged tension
through enjoying each other in every possible way.
Spiritual Sex is taught throughout the Courtship Curriculum
with emphasis on principles and techniques in Modules 1, 4 and 5.