Notes from the book Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Here’s my summation for a new preface: Stop waiting. Feel everything. Love achingly. Give impeccably. Let go.
This man is unabashedly masculine – he is purposeful, confident and directed, living his chosen way of life with deep integrity and humor — and he is sensitive, spontaneous, and spiritually alive, with a heart-commitment to discovering and living his deepest truth.
Bound neither by outer convention nor inner cowardice.
Many of today’s men have become whimps, too weak and ambiguous to really trust.
Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity – the passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles. All natural forces flow between two poles.
If you want real passion, you need a ravisher and a ravishee; otherwise, you just have two buddies who decide to rub genitals in bed.
You always attract your sexual reciprocal.
If you have a more feminine sexual essence, your professional life may be incredibly successful, but your core won’t be fulfilled unless love is flowing fully in your family or intimate life. The mission or the search for freedom is the priority for the masculine, where as the search for love is the priority of the feminine. Sports are all about achieving freedom.
The masculine wants to feel the bliss of a life lived at the edge, and if he doesn’t have the balls to do it himself, he’ll watch it on TV, in sporting events and cop shows.
Live is openness, through and through. And true spirituality is the practice of love, the practice of openness.
A heterosexual man with a true masculine sexual essence, then you will be more or less constantly sexually attracted to feminine women you see all day, at the workplace and on the street. To married women as well as teenage girls. AS long as they shine the feminine light, you will feel the pull.
If you have a masculine sexual essence then you would probably admin, if you were being honest, that you intimate relationship is just not as important to you as the mission in your life — but you still want a full and energetic intimate relationship, perhaps quite badly. How do you deal with this often misunderstood dilemma?
Chapter 1 Stop hoping for a completion of anything in life
Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, if I can work enough, then one day I can rest.
Don’t wait any longer. Spend at least one hour a day doing whatever you simply love to do – what you deeply feel you need to do, in your heart — in spit of the daily duties that seem to constrain you.
Most postponements are excuses for a lack of creative discipline.
Each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.
2 Live with an open heart even if it hurts
Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man’s true nature. A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.
Difficult to look into someone’s eyes.. Unskillful reaction to hurt.
Softening your chest and belly, wide and free. Look directly into the eyes of whomever you are with, feeling your own pain as well as feeling other person. Only when the front of your body is relaxed and opened, your breadth full and deep, and your gaze unguarded and directly connected with another persons eyes, can your fullest intelligence manifest spontaneously in the situation.
You must feel the entire situation with your whole body.
3. Live as if your father were dead
4. Know your feel edge and dont fake it
Nor should he stop sort of his actual edge. Authentic and fully present.
Where do you fears stop you? Absolutely fearless. Your edge is where you stop short, or where you compromise your fullest gift, and instead, cater to your fears.
All men are are afraid, unless they are perfectly free.
Secure and comfortable, but dead. Describe our edge. Honor your edge. Leans into his fear, living at this edge. A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from the. Live with your lips presssed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither puling back nor aggressively violating them.
5 Always hold to your deepest realisation
Eternity must be a man’s home, moment by moment. Without it, he is lost, always striving, graspingh at puffs of smoke. A man must do anything necessary to glimpse, and then stabilise, this ever fresh realisation, and organise his life around it.
Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest, most easeful levels of being. Everything other than this process is secondary.
6 Never change your mind just to please a woman
If a woman suggests something that changes a man’s perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or go along with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such as action. They will grow to resenty each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action.
7 Your purpose must come before your relationship
Your mission is your priority.
Tell her that you will spend some specific time with her in absolute attention and total presence, then you must return to carry on your mission.
8 Lean just beyond your edge
Just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything he does.
Fear needs to become your friend, so that you are no longer uncomfortable with it.
A state of alive and humble spontaneity.
Without trying to escape the feeling of fear itself.
9 Do it for love
And just as surely, they will tenderly respond to the authenticity of your relaxed ministrations, the freedom expressed in your humor, and the invasion of your adamant love.
No gifts left ungiven. No limit to the depth of being. Only openness, freedom, and love as the legacy of your intercourse with woman and world.
Constant search for release from constraint.
10 Enjoy your friends’ criticism
A man’s capacity to receive another man’s direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy. If he doesn’t have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men’s criticism.
About once a week, you should sit down with your clsoest men friends and discuss what you are doing in your life and what you are afraid of doing. The conversation should be short and simple. You should state where you are at. Then, your friends should give you a behavioural experiment (often a challenge), something you can do that will reveal something to you, or grant more freedom in your life… to challenge your mediocrity. Good friends should not tolerate mediocrity in one another.
11 If you don’t know your purpose, discover it, now
Everything in your life, from your diet to your career, must be aligned with your purpose if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world. If you know your purpose, your deepest desire, then the secret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpose and minimise distractions and detours.
However, when you know your true purpose, which is your core desire in life, each moment can become a full expression of your core desire.
Such a life is complete unto itself in every instant.
And be vanished in the bliss of the giving.
12 Be willing to change everything in your life
He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of unwillingness and waiting fora vision or a new form of purpose to emerge. These cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma in his relaxation into truth.
You probably need to burn off the karma, or fulfill the need, of the present purpose by which you are fascinated and distracted.
It’s easy to feel disappointed by life; success is never as fulfilling as you think it is going to be.
Preparation for advancing
Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring and useless.
You stay open to a vision of your deeper purpose by not filling your time with distractions. Don’t watch TV or play computer games. Don’t go out drinking beer with your friends every night or start dating a bunch of women. Simply wait.
13 Don’t use your family as an excuse
The priority of the feminine, in men and women, is the flow of love in relationship. The priority of the masculine, in men and women, is the mission which leads to freedom. Ultimately, true freedom and true love are the same. However, the journey of the masculine and feminine to this unity of love and freedom is very different.
If it not the amount of time but the quality of the interaction that most influences a child’s growth.
14 Don’t get lost in tasks and duties
Always refresh the transcendental element of life through regular meditation and retreat.
Reduced yourself to a machine of picayune.
Do you consistently relaxc into the awe of immense mystery? Or, are you so absorbed in your work and projects that you no longer feel the miracle of existence, each moment emerging from and dissolving into the great unknowable?
The investigation, realisation, and embodiment of true freedom.
Whereas many women waste precious time swirling in emotional currents and eddies, many men waste their birth seeking the completion of tasks.
Interrupt your schedule with refreshers. These refreshers should cut to your core and strip the fat off the moment. Consier yor own death. Behold an image of the most enlightened being you know. Contemplate the mystery of existence. Relax into the deepest and most profound loving of which you are capable. In your own way, remember the infinite, and then return to the task at hand.
15 Stop hoping for your woman to get easier
Seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable.
Her test may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never thin his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.
Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration.
One of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.
The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine; unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles.
Because your success doesn’t mean shit to her, unless you are free and loving.
She won’t tolerate your childish needs for a pat on the head, collecting bigger toys, and being king of the mountain. A good woman will love the childlike part of you, but she wants your life to be guided by your deepest truths, not your untended childhood wounds.
You have demonstrated your depenndence on her for external validation.
You don’t need her validation in order for you to be loving. You simply are loving.
Her complaint is the beginning of her pleasure.
Part 2 – Dealing with women
16 Women are not liars
The masculine means what it says. A woman’s word is her true expression in the moment.
This is why a man must ultimately be responsible for making his own decisions, based on the deepest truth he can fathom. Otherwise, if he bends his course of truth to compromise for his woman’s current and changing expressions, she will probably end up blaming her.
This way, if your woman subsequently changes her mind, you won’t resent her for comprimsing your path.
17 Praise her
The masculine grows by challenge. The feminine grows by praise
Only the masculine side of your woman will grow through challenge. The feminine side thrives on support and praise.
Always better to call the glass half full than half empty.
To a woman – Priase works. Information doesn’t. Praise motivates. Challenge doesn’t.
18 Tolerating her leads to resenting her
Most men can end up feeling burdened by your woman’s mood. You can only develop your skill in serving your woman in openness.
Don’t tolerate her mood. And don’t talk about it with her participate in it. Bloom her into fullness. Move her body with your body. Open her heart with your humor. Penetrate her closure with your fearless presence. Open her heart, again and again and again.
19 Don’t analyse your woman
There is no problem, only a storm, a breeze, a sudden change in weather.
The next time your woman is in a bad mood, truth this: Assume she is not feeling loved. Simple assume it, even if it seems that it can’t be that simple, that there must be some underlying reasons for her upsetness, a reason that you could fix. Assume she is more like a flower that needs watering than an engine that needs a carburettor adjustment. Don’t assume anything is wrong at all. Assume that she wants love from you, in a deep, strong, steady, and sensitive way.
20 Don’t suggest that a woman fix her own emotional problem
Her feminine core, which is pure energy in motion, like the ocean.
What she really wants is a man who can figure it out for himself.
So she can be what the feminine is: pure energy.
Like the ocean, to flow with great power and no single direction.
21 Stay with her intensity – to a point
One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her thorugh the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax.
By standing your ground and loving so strongly that only love prevails.
Only options are fear or mastery
Do whatever it takes to crack the shell of her closure, get your love inside that crack, and touch her heart. Learn to enjoy her anger, her tears, her silent hardness. The world will give you the same at times.
22 Don’t force the feminine to make decisions
Gift of masculine clarity and decisiveness
One of your most valuable gifts is the ability to see all the options and make a decision based on this view of all the potential outcomes.
If she asks you which shoes you think look better on her, make a decision, and tell her.
If you refuse to offer your masculine gift by saying things like “ don’t really care. It’s up to you, then she will have to learn to depend on her own masculine capacity. Another way to say this is that she will begin to trust her own masculine more than yours. Then you will find that she trusts you less and less across the board. She will refuse to surrender to you even sexually, because she hasn’t been able to relax and trust you all day; you haven’t offered her your masculine clarity and perspective, so she has to be her own man and give it to herself.
Part 3 – Working with polarity and energy
23 Your attraction to the feminine is inevitable
Seeing an especially radiant woman can fill your whole day with delight. A wave of refreshment.
Our acceptance of sexual attraction, even with music and places, is at the root of our capacity to experience bodily pleasure.
24 Choose a woman who is your complementary opposite
Although you may love these women and enjoy spending time with them, they don’t arouse your passion as much as the women whose words you wouldn’t trust to remain true for an afternoon, but who move their body in a way that drives you wild.
And the more feminine a woman is at her core, the less she is likely to evidence strong masculine traits, such as speaking clearly and unequivocally about thoughts and desires, rather than primarily expressing her feelings of the moment.
If you are like most men, you have probably minimised your appreciation of the full spectrum of your woman’s feminine energy by numbing yourself to the aspects that most irritate you.
A woman free in her expression of bodily ecstasy is one of the most awesome visions most men have had.
Temple dancers in India forinstance
In fact you can learn to be turned on by her dance of anger as much as by her slinky purr. This capacity is one of your gifts to her. You can learn to stand free and strong no matter what emotion she displays. You won’t leave, turn away, or dissociate in disgust. You can meet her enormous energy and stand full, loving her thorugh the storm, embracing her complete feminine power, dark and light.
25 Know what is important in your woman
When you don’t prioritise the purpose of your relationship, these different energies often cancle eachother out, and you are left with a sexually neutralised alliance.
By constantly talking about finances, work, household, and children, you turn you woman into a neutral companion. You become so familiar with each other that the mystery of sexual enchantment becomes standardised into the ritual mechanics
26 You will often want more than one woman
To live a life of impeccable integrity, you must discriminate the source of your desire, so you know when to discipline your behaviour for everyones benefit, including yours.
Self-discipline is when your highest desires rule your lesser desires, not through resistance, but through loving action grounded in understanding and compassion.
27 Young women offer your a special energy
As women get older, they typically take on more and more masculine tasks and responsibilities in our culture, so their radiance begins to decrease. In other cultures, this is less true. Women maintain and even deepen their radiance. But even in these cultures with more wisdom, it is understood that young women provide a special energy that is fresh, uncompomrised, and enlivening.
Without violating htis honor by imposing your sexual dsire on her.
28 Each woman has a temperature that can heal or irritate you
If you are a particularly easygoing, man, perhaps a man who has differently getting motivated, then a hot woman is probably better for you. Her fiery nature can heat up your system and get you moving. On the other hand, if you tend to be quick tempered and hot yourself, you might find that a more cooling woman heals you and brings a balance to your body and psyche.
Part 4 – What women really want
29 Choose a woman who chooses you
The priority of the masculine core is mission, purpose, or direction in life. The priority of the feminine core is the flow of love in intimacy. If a woman feels your feminine is stronger than hers — if she feels that the intimacy is more important to you than to he — then she will naturally animate her masculine.
30 What she wants is not what she says
Her ultimate desire is to feel your full consciousness, your trustable integrity, your unshakable love, and your confidence in your mission. Yet she will rarely ask you directly for these things.
The divine masculine is consciousness. A superior man practices maintaining full consciousness in all situations.
31 Her complaint is content-free
The thing your woman is complaining about is rarely the thing she is complaining about. It is a mistake to believe the content of what she is saying, and then respond to her complaints, point by point.
You must listen to your woman more as an oracle than as an advisor. She usually is speaking in a very tangential, but revelatory, style. She is revealing your unconscious habits that prevent your fullest awakening in consciousness. Your unconsciousness causes her pain. She won’t say it that way, but that’s what she is indicating.
32 She doesn’t really want to be number one
If a woman has become the point of your life, you are lost.
33 Your excellent track record is meaningless to her
To the feminine, history is irrelevant.
So your mistake is as easily forgotten as your success. As soon as you see she’s upset, immediately assume happiness. Shock her with your love.
Surprise her in some loving way. Restore love and happiness in the present moment, don’t justify your little mistake by referring to your long line of successes.
34 She wants to relax in the demonstration of your direction
What’s important is that you are clear, accountable, and directed from your deepest core of wisdom?
You become more responsible by knowing your deepest purpose, and then arranging your finances and spiritual life from that knowingness. For your woman to relax in her radiance and feminine happiness, she needs to feel that she can get on your train and that it’s going exactly where she wants to go.
Part 5 Your dark side
35 You are always searching for freedom
The essential masculine ecstasy is in the moment of release from constraint. This could occur when facing death and living thorugh it, succeeding in (and thus being released from) your purpose, and in competition (which is ritual threat of death). The masculine is always seekking release from constraint into freedom. The feminine often doesn’t understand these masculine ways and needs.
The post-orgasmic state is one of death-like peace, an emptiness akin to a blissful oblivion. The masculine is always seeking this release in one way or another.
This breakthrough into freedom, however it occurs, is the main motive of the masculine. All masculine goals — at work, on the meditation cushion, or on the football field — are directed towards more freedom.
Orgasm is actually called petite mort or little death in French.
Most sports are ritualised war, but actual war itself resonates with the core of most men. The capacity to face death for the sake of freedom, whether actually in war or ritually on the football field or chess board, is the ultimate masculine act, evolving men’s deepest emotions.
Wiling to face your fears. The attachment to comfort and security is what limits most men in their capacity to make a spiritual touchdown.
Few men ever release themselves enough to relax in this depth of freedom because they are afraid of absolutely no stress.
The highest form of masculine ecstasy: Transcendence of the fear of death by facing the limiting stress of your own self-sense, and relaxing through it, into the absolute freedom you have always intuited at your core, but sought through only temporary means.
The feminine, on the other hand, is not seeking freedom, but love. A woman’s bliss is not in emptiness, but in fullness. Her means is not release, but surrender.
36 Own your darkest desires
The pleasure is in releasing her from all the conventional restraints of her psyche, so she has no choice but to surrender in love.
The essential masculine fear is loss of self — which is also the essential masculine desire.
Feel into her so deeply that you become unaware of yourself and totally aware of her. Feel yourself move into her, your boundaries dissolving so that you become her, utterly aware of her breath, her movements, her emotions.
37 She wants the killer in you
Fearlessness, or the capacity to transcend the fear of death for the sake of love, is a quintessential form of the ultimate masculine gift.
Wrathful goddess who would chop the head off of every mediocre new age man.
Your woman’s desire for our dark side, in love, is a gift to you. But honouring her desire through the cultivation of your dark and fearless loving, your need for self-protection will decrease, and every moment will stand more naked, vulnerable, and true, release of your need for consolation and false self-assurance.
The life is process of dying through to that which cannot be lost.
38 She needs your consciousness to match her energy
A man must be able to meet her woman with consciousness equivalent to her energy
As a general rule, she will keep returning to the energy that you cannot match.
Until your consciousness is able to blossom her beyond her tension, you will be tested.
She wants your consciousness — clear, strong, and free — as much as you want her radiance.
The secret is to match her energy with consciousness demonstrated through your body.
If you are cringing, if your voice is restrained, and you are telling her that you love her, she won’t believe you. If you walk up to her, hold her in your arms, and laugh affectionately in the humour of the moment, she will feel your freedom, if it is for real. She will feel it because it is communicated through your body.
Don’t tell her what to do, but do it with her, with your body.
You need not concern yourself with pleasing her. That’s not the point.
Until your consciousness is unperturbed by feminine challenge.
Part 6 Feminine attractiveness
39 The feminine is abundant
Relax your body and feel the ocean of feminine energy around you. Feel your surroundings as her form, the sounds around you as her moans and laugher, and the light around you as her smile. Actually relax with the moment as you would relax with your love, not metaphorically but literally, bodily, with full intention and presence.
Do the same in the company of human women? Feel them not merely as friends, coworkers, or sisters, but as walking blessings of energy.
So your day becomes a feast of plenty.
40 Allow older women their magic
There should be no such comparison. Each age of woman has its own value, and the transition from superficial shine to deep radiance is inevitable.
41 Turn your lust into gifts
Rather than dispersing this energy in mental fantasy, a man should learn to circulate his heightened energy. He should breathe fully,
In fact, some men would go so far as to say that, if it weren’t for women, they wouldn’t be interested in the world much at all.
Then they seek inspiration again, through more women, or through other feminine sources, such as alcohol, drugs, or nature.
Continually cultivate and magnify your inspiration.
42 Never allow your desire to become suppressed or depolarised
Any woman toward whom a man becomes depolarised will feel his rejection, disgust, and turning away.
You must maintain a certain degree of polarisation or mutual attraction with them.
Your complete withdrawal leaves her barren at her core.
43 Use her attractiveness as a slignshot through appearance
You are deceived by the mirage of your own desire.
Long enough to realixe that you already have what you seek, that what appearances promise is a revelation of your own deep and inherently blissful nature.
Give her so much of what you want from her that you can’t tell who is who, the chaser has become the tail, and all motion stops in the intensity of self-release. There is only one.
Feel through her body when you are having sex with her. Feel through her anger when she is raging at you. Feel through her darkness when she seems ungly. Feel through her beauty when she most attracts you. By feeling through all of her forms, the superior man is not distracted or obsessed. Rather, his attention feels through the mirage of other, and he is released of need in the revelation of oneness.
Sexual union is a fractal.
Part 7 Body practices
44 Ejaculation should be converted or consciously chosen
She knows she can deplete him, weaken him, empty him of life force.
Your lack of desire also applies toward the world. If she can drain you, so can the world.
All emotional resistance comes down to the same thing: a refusal to love.
Without imposing your own needs on her, let your love penetrate to the deep part of her that is totally open to love,.
You’re not going to et list in the self-enclosed spasm of your own pleasuring — she will begin to trust you with her mostvulnerable core.
45 Breathe down the front
The best method is through full and relaxed breathing, drawing energy down the front, and freeing attention from neurotic self-concern.
On your next inhalation, fill your entire body, then your solar plexus and lower chest. Then exhale. Then inhale and fill your belly, solar plexus, and your entire chest, in that order. For several breaths, inhale fully in this way, filling your belly, solar plexus and finally your chest. Then exhale fully, slow and smoothly.
The main way you generate bodily tension is by turning your attention back on yourself in self-concern, curling into yourself
Make love with the world in this way, all day, pervading and dissolving all unease. Feel the world against your body like a naked woman,vulnerable and alive.
46 Ejaculate up the spine
When you notice your face squinching up, relax it. When you notice your breath getting fast and shallow, slow it down and deepen it. When you notice your belly tight and your chest hard open your belly and soften the area around your heart.
Eventually, with practice, you will be able to feel through your partner, as if your partners body where a doorway into vast open space of energy, light, and awareness.
Breathe fully, deeply and with great force, throughout the day. Your inhales should feel like they are drawing energy down the front of your body, filling your belly and genital region. Your exhales should feel like they are moving energy from your pelvic floor, up your spine, into your head.
Part 8 Men’s and women’s yoga of intimacy
47 Take into account the primary asymmetry
He will always gravitate to a woman whom he feels would most support his mission.
Don’t take it. Don’t try to act concerned for the sake of your woman. She can feel where you are really at.
When your life is truly aligned with your highest purpose, you will become more present, more loving, and more humorous.
Your woman will then be the first recipient of your magnified presence, love and humor.
48 You are responsible for the growth in intimacy
Growth of a relationship is primarily the man’s responsibilities. The energy of an intimacy — pleasure, sexual flow, and vitality — is primarily the woman’s responsibility.
Without a woman to serve your present emobiment of love, you might spend most of your time working on your projects, starting into a computer screen, churning thoughts in your head, or seeking future goals of financial or spiritual freedom. Meanwhile, you have lost touch with the present, with your body and your woman.
49 Insist on practise and growth
Your own laziness, addictions, and unclarity. There is nothing to wait for and nobody to blame.
Your success with an method you choose depends entirely on your actual commitment to discovering your deepest truth and alighning your life with it.
50 Restore your purpose in solitude and with other men
A man rediscovers and fine tunes his purpose in solitude, in challenging situations, and in the company of other men who won’t settle for his bullshit. But women strengthen their feminine radiance best in the company of other women in mutual celebration and play. A man must arrange for both forms of restoration: his own solitude and men’s gatherings, and his woman’s time with other women.
Denying your desire to get down to it, with your mission for your woman.
The cure for lack of purpose is to be challenged to live at your edge
Eliminate the comforts and cushions that you have learned to snuggle into and lose wakefulness. Take away anything that dulls your edge.
Reduce working time to a necessary minimum. No conversation that isn’t about truth, love, or the divine.
If you take on these disciplines for a few weeks, as well as nay other disciplines taht may particularly cut through your unique habits of dullness, then your life will be stripped of routine distraction. All that will be left is the edge you have been avoding by means of your daily routine.
You will have to face the basic discomfort and dissatisfaction that is the hidden texture of your life.
Instead, feel your suffering, rest with it, embrace it, make love with it. Feel your suffering so deeply and thoroughly that you penetrate it, and realise its fearful foundation. Almost everything you do, you do because you are afraid to die. And yet dying is exactly what you are doing, from the moment you are born.
There must be a consequence for freezing in the face of fear.
The most potent forms or masculine realignment involve both austerity and challenge. Go to the middle of the woods by yourself, with only survival necessities. Nothing to read, nothing to do. Fast from food and don’t sleep for as long as possible. Challenge your attention with some practice, like chanting or ritual movement, so that your attention doesn’t drift or become balmy. Open yourself and wait. Do not cover your suffering. Do not quit before you fall through the hole of your fear and emerge with a vision of your true mission, the unique form of your living sacrifice.
Always agree on consequences for not persisting in the challenge.
You should alternate these kinds of cutting through the bullshit gathering with masculine celebrations.
51 Practice dissolving
Like dissolving in the intensity of an orgasm, a man’s greatest desire is to be utterly released.